Nothing says 'celebrating a Comedy Festival' like a plate of Bavarian meat

‘And now, the end is near; and so I face, the final curtain…’ Ol’ Blue Eyes sang that and I’m sure he’s up in heaven now, watching me write the above and thinking to himself, ‘What in God’s name is a blog?’

This is the last blog entry, sports fans, and I have no idea if anyone has read this. However, over these last few weeks I’m happy I got to a) purge my comedy stories, and b) work on my touch typing. I’m almost making myself semi-employable. God forbid…

So 2012 is drawing to an end (Editor’s note: Must show Dave where April falls in the calendar year…) and according to the Mayans this will be the last year. On the other hand, my car repayments are scheduled for another two years, so it could go either way. But as the Melbourne International Comedy Festival draws to a close, many people ask what us comedians do afterwards.

Well, first things first. We spend the last weekend of this fine festival enjoying the accomplishments of our last month whilst simultaneously enduring a weekend-long hangover. After that we are released back into the big bad world and try our best to assimilate, where we ask the big questions like ‘What happened while I was in my own world performing? Did I make any money over the last month? What the hell is a “one directioner”?’

For some comedians it’s back to their day jobs. For others it’s more touring. For a small minority it’s even rehab. For this little hobo it’s off to Sydney where I’ll perform at its comedy festival (and where I feel my Bondi jokes will be better received). Later in the year I’m off to Edinburgh to tackle the world’s largest fringe festival…again. In between I’ll be continuing my weekly podcast with fellow comedian Tommy Little, called SlapBang (out every Friday, free on iTunes), and generally making a nuisance of myself on various mediums.

Thanks for reading and, in the immortal words of my father, ‘It’s better to sit there and appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.’ Maybe I should have listened to him more.